On Arguing

So in one of the few articles in the bridal magazine I bought last week it talks about things that can separate the sucessful marriages from those that end in divorce. One of those things was argument style - everyone argues, it's just the way you do it that matters. This got me thinking about how Scott and I address potential problems.

I think we have a pretty good system and our styles match for the most part if we are careful not to really piss each other off in which case I'm the type of person who wants to get away and he says he tends to follow. Luckily it takes a lot to get us that angry - it hasn't happened yet and when things do heat up we tend to be able to calm each other down. Most of our discussions have been just that - yea we might intensely defend a position, but the other person keeps an open mind and isn't hesitant to admit that they may have been wrong or that the other person has a point.

Another thing that I think has proven useful is agreeing to be upfront and honest about everything -- by doing this no one ever has to bottle something up, it's addressed so it doesn't end up boiling over at the wrong time or place and no one feels opressed or unheard. Plus it spawned the 'random question game' that facilitated Scott's proposal. :)

As long as we remember the other person's style of working through issues and how much we love each other I think we'll be able to get through anything. We're off to a great start.