I'm sorry I'm selfish...
So I'm finally back from break - not seeing Scott for almost 2 weeks was tough, but seeing him was all the more wonderful after that time spent apart; same goes for just a week away though, so I think I'll stick w/ the shorter span. ;)
One of my friends, Alex, who also happens to be an 'ex', stopped by tonight. I haven't had a chance to really talk to him in person in over a year, so it was nice to catch up. We talked a bit about my engagement and wedding thoughts before the convo took a turn toward an interesting discussion.
Somehow we got onto the subject of kids and when they might fit into my plans. Now as you may remember from another post, I want to wait a loooong time to have kids, probably about 8 to 10 years after I get married. The main reason for this is that I want to have fun 'just the two of us' for a while and because I'd rather be in my 30's when I become a mom from a career and resources point of view. Even when I do think of having children, the number is usually just one, maybe two at the most for sure. Kids can be fun, but I don't want to be completely engulfed by them, I need at least a little time to keep in touch with me and who I am.
Alex was shocked that I would want to wait until I was 30 - apparently that's 'old' in his eyes - and that I only want one or maybe two. He thinks that "2 or 3 years is enough" time to be just two people and that even after having a kid or several the dynamic between spouses can still be focused on each other (i.e. you don't have to really 'share' the spouse with kids).
We didn't really discuss this in detail, but it's gotten me thinking and I've come to the conclusion that I am selfish! I don't want to have to share Scott for a long while because I enjoy the freedom that comes from being 'just' two. Yes when a kid comes along we can still have our "us" time, but it will be less frequent and different - I always hear that people's lives change drastically after a kid or two, and while that might be good for some, I want to put it off for a while until I'm more ready for such a change and I've had time to enjoy having a great husband.
Is there something wrong with having an only child? I came out fine as far as I can tell and I loved having parents that didn't have to split their attentions or spend all their time running me or siblings to and fro. Yea I missed having playmates every once in a while, but not for long - I learned how to entertain myself well and had a who mini farm to explore afterall.
I don't feel like I was just put on this earth to create more beings. I'd like to think that I have another purpose and that I can leave my mark on the world in addition to raising a great addition to society eventually. An interesting thought to ponder at least.
One of my friends, Alex, who also happens to be an 'ex', stopped by tonight. I haven't had a chance to really talk to him in person in over a year, so it was nice to catch up. We talked a bit about my engagement and wedding thoughts before the convo took a turn toward an interesting discussion.
Somehow we got onto the subject of kids and when they might fit into my plans. Now as you may remember from another post, I want to wait a loooong time to have kids, probably about 8 to 10 years after I get married. The main reason for this is that I want to have fun 'just the two of us' for a while and because I'd rather be in my 30's when I become a mom from a career and resources point of view. Even when I do think of having children, the number is usually just one, maybe two at the most for sure. Kids can be fun, but I don't want to be completely engulfed by them, I need at least a little time to keep in touch with me and who I am.
Alex was shocked that I would want to wait until I was 30 - apparently that's 'old' in his eyes - and that I only want one or maybe two. He thinks that "2 or 3 years is enough" time to be just two people and that even after having a kid or several the dynamic between spouses can still be focused on each other (i.e. you don't have to really 'share' the spouse with kids).
We didn't really discuss this in detail, but it's gotten me thinking and I've come to the conclusion that I am selfish! I don't want to have to share Scott for a long while because I enjoy the freedom that comes from being 'just' two. Yes when a kid comes along we can still have our "us" time, but it will be less frequent and different - I always hear that people's lives change drastically after a kid or two, and while that might be good for some, I want to put it off for a while until I'm more ready for such a change and I've had time to enjoy having a great husband.
Is there something wrong with having an only child? I came out fine as far as I can tell and I loved having parents that didn't have to split their attentions or spend all their time running me or siblings to and fro. Yea I missed having playmates every once in a while, but not for long - I learned how to entertain myself well and had a who mini farm to explore afterall.
I don't feel like I was just put on this earth to create more beings. I'd like to think that I have another purpose and that I can leave my mark on the world in addition to raising a great addition to society eventually. An interesting thought to ponder at least.
posted by Erin at 8:24 PM
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