Holidays

So Thanksgiving was last week and I was home; Scott was in Lake Station. I had a few people ask why he wasn't in Bloomington with me which I totally wasn't expecting. It did make me realize that we're going to have to figure out holiday plans for the future. One of my friends and her fiance have has some troubles figuring all that out, but Scott and I have briefly discussed the topic and I think we should be able to figure out a workable setup without too many problems. :)

I have to admit that it is strange thinking about not spending every holiday with my parents at home. I guess it's understandable since I have been doing just that for over 20 years. Sometimes it's nice to be able to relax into something completely known and comfortable.

It'll be a little odd to adjust to another family's 'traditions' during holidays, too. Scott thinks my family is too active on Thanksgiving since we go hiking and do stuff out of the house and I can't imagine being stuck inside for the whole day (although since I would be with Scott that does make it more appealing).

Maybe we should just create our own traditions and visit family on the days surrounding the holiday, but spend the actual holiday at our place doing our own thing. That is quite tempting right now since it would mean we'd be able to visit both families if we wanted and it gives us a chance to start some things that are uniquely ours. Hmmmm interesting. I'll have to give that some more thought! Scott is a superb cook.....

3 weeks!

Wow, Saturday marked 3 weeks since the engagement! On one hand it's hard to believe it's been that long, but on the other it seems like we've been engaged forever.

I still need to tell my extended family - there's just something slightly intimidating about doing that. I think it may just be that I've told all the people whose reactions I can predict for sure and now the people I'll be telling are kind of an unknown quantity, which can be unnerving at times. I don't think any of my relatives will react negatively, but it's stil an unknown quantity.

I wish Scott could come to Christmas w/ the family in Ft. Wayne - I think that they'd really like him and he'd fit in well, but he has to have surgery on his foot and thus obviously can't make it to The other side of the state the day after or something like that. I guess we'll just have to go to Ft. Wayne later in 2006 so they can all meet the great guy I 'caught'. :)

Playing Catch Up

Scott has told me to update the blog, cause he likes reading about himself lol, so I guess I'll be a good girl and oblige him this time. ;)

This week has been super busy - mainly studying for a Chem exam on Wednesday night. Scott came over Tuesday night and he actually made me study like I told him to, even though I tried to get out of it. :)

Sunday night I got dinner cooked for me - Chicken w/ Pasta in Alfredo Sauce and Garlic Bread!! MMMMM very yummy, esp since it was made from scratch and I didn't have to do hardly anything other than buy the ingredients. Scott is an awesome cook IMO, I may have to 'force' him to cook more next semester so I can actually eat more than things from the freezer or consisting of PB and J.

I guess two of my friends know what my engagement ring will look like and they're being good and not telling me a thing about it (Thanks girls!); I really want to know what it looks like, but I would hate finding out before I actually get it - does that make sense at all? I guess I love the anticipation or something.

Tonight is Girls' Night - I haven't hosted one for a while, so my friend Cathryn and I decided now would be a good time. I stopped by Walmart today to get soda and cookies for tonight and Lois is bringing chips and dip along with a movie or two. :) I don't know how many people will show up tonight, but even if it's just Amanda, Lois, Cathryn, and I it should be fun. I think I need to get back into the habit of Girls' Night - it is a great time to catch up with everyone I don't see much and it's fun to talk about girl stuff for a whole night. I wish Sarah was up here again though, cause it doesn't seem like a real Girls' Night without her.

I think the whole idea is something I'll continue after graduation and the wedding - I think it's important to have some time set aside to do things as an individual and that are just for fun; it's a great stress reliever and solidifies friendships among other things. :)

Almost time for people to arrive - I'll try to update again soon.

One of Two

I'm sitting here by myself, wishing that my other half was here and contemplating what that means. It wasn't that long ago that I was happy being by myself completely for hours on end. I loved being able to do whatever whenever and have no interruptions that I didn't create myself. I couldn't understand why some girls pined for their guys when they were apart and I couldn't imagine myself being that twitterpated. Now I'm more like one of those girls! Yea I like being on my own every once in a while, but more often than not, I'd prefer being with Scott, even if it's just hanging out while we both study. When I take Maggie hiking I think about how nice it would be to have Scott along too, when I'm sitting in front of the TV I think about how much I love it when it's the two of us curled up on the couch, etc. etc. etc.

You know what's funny? I have no idea when this changed or really how - I mean I've always been independent and my own person and that really hasn't changed, I'm just happy being one of two now - however I got there.

Why can't I just be in LOVE?!

So Scott and I have been gradually telling family and friends about the engagement and the news has been well received overall, except for one thing - a few people have asked if we're getting engaged because I'm pregnant! I am not of course and that is so far from happening it's almost funny. We aren't even looking at a wedding until 2008!

Why is it that some people assume that just cause we're both 20 that means that something must've happened to trigger the commitment rather than 'just' being in love??

Is society convinced that college students are so immature that any commitment must have some ulterior motive? Is it actually true more now than in the past?

Years ago 20 was pretty normal to be getting married, but with college becoming a more normal activity after high school and the idea of 'finding yourself' and such before settling down, marrying age has increased to something like 25 or 27 and now everyone thinks 20 is 'too young'. Has our society really changed so much in the last 30 to 40 years that we aren't able to make well informed decisions until our mid 20s? I guess it kind of makes sense - college is now the time to learn how to be on your own, rather than jumping straight from HS to work and all the responsibilities that entails.

I remember that a lot of people thought I wouldn't be able to handle living off campus as a freshman because I wasn't mature enough, but I proved them wrong. My parents had faith in me and it worked out well, but what if I was a 'normal' college student used to being taken care of and with little concept of financial responsibility and being in charge of oneself? I probably would've failed miserably and destroyed my credit in the process.

Maybe people are justified in their thoughts that college students aren't generally 'old enough' to decide on life changing things; I'm sure that Scott and I aren't average and thus we are the exception to this more and more common point of view, but still, sometimes people baffle me.

On Arguing

So in one of the few articles in the bridal magazine I bought last week it talks about things that can separate the sucessful marriages from those that end in divorce. One of those things was argument style - everyone argues, it's just the way you do it that matters. This got me thinking about how Scott and I address potential problems.

I think we have a pretty good system and our styles match for the most part if we are careful not to really piss each other off in which case I'm the type of person who wants to get away and he says he tends to follow. Luckily it takes a lot to get us that angry - it hasn't happened yet and when things do heat up we tend to be able to calm each other down. Most of our discussions have been just that - yea we might intensely defend a position, but the other person keeps an open mind and isn't hesitant to admit that they may have been wrong or that the other person has a point.

Another thing that I think has proven useful is agreeing to be upfront and honest about everything -- by doing this no one ever has to bottle something up, it's addressed so it doesn't end up boiling over at the wrong time or place and no one feels opressed or unheard. Plus it spawned the 'random question game' that facilitated Scott's proposal. :)

As long as we remember the other person's style of working through issues and how much we love each other I think we'll be able to get through anything. We're off to a great start.

Another Party Heard From...

So Scott and I discussed some of my ideas thus far and we have discovered that we have a few things to negotiate already.

The barn idea wasn't a hit at first, but Scott's willing to get married in a barn assuming that it isn't bright red or smell like animals; I'm ok with that, although I do like red barns lol.

Oddly enough my idea to wear flip flops created a bit of a discussion. It's kinda funny how the little things come up before the larger stuff. Scott would like to see me wear normal shoes, not necessarily something w/ heels, but something he doesn't have to worry about me losing as I walk down the aisle. I can see where he's coming from, but I've wanted to wear flip flops at my wedding since probably sophomore year of high school, so it's a slight sticking point. So far my persuasion points include the length of time I've worn flip flops without incident, foot comfort, and my long term desire to be different. We shall see how this turns out I guess -- 2.5 years is plenty of time to come to a compromise, or at least a comfy pair of sandals or a secure set of flip flops. ;)

Beginning to think....

So I have a few initial ideas from a late night obsession session lol.

Color(s): Dark green in my number one choice; I like Lavender or Cobalt Blue too, but Sarah is thinking about something purple and Jen is looking at blue herself. Green in Scott's fav color and my second fav, it reminds me of a book I loved as a kid and moss which is spiffy, so it does have some good things going for it. :)

Location: Some big old barn if I can find one that's not too dusty and smells of hay, but without the animals to distract the dogs. That solves my number one fear of being caught in the rain or on a really hot sunny day - the roof keeps things dry or shaded, and the doors can be opened to let in sun, fresh air, and a good breeze.

My dress: Vintage style, something unique. I really like strapless or spagetti strap style tops w/ a fitted A line or loose sheath skirt. Maybe I can even find a way to incorporate something from the wedding dress my mom or Gma Miller wore if we still have either dress and my mom's ok with cutting them up.

I started the list of people to send invites to in 2 years lol. So far I have about 55 people myself and Scott has quite a few too. I don't want a huge wedding, but I don't want to leave people out either. I'm going to have to come up with some criteria to divide the list up into "wedding and reception" and "just reception" guests. *sigh* At least I have plenty of time I guess.

Well that's all for now...I need to pace myself I think!